Monthly Archives: February 2013

I really should update more often.

As the title says, I need to update way more often.  There is way too much to catch up on without creating a wall of text.

First there was the “I’m surprised we didn’t kill each other” move into the new house.  Immediately followed by the “why did you spend so damn much money on two children who won’t even remember it?” Christmas.  Things calmed down a bit (by “things” I don’t mean her spending) through the New Year.  Then came the news that there will be a third child coming soon, and I went into a crazy spiral of depression when I realized that meant I was going to have to buy, and then drive, a mini-van.


Ok, we’re going to take a break here.  I know most of you must be saying “you found out you’re going to have a third kid, and all you can think about is a van?”   To which my reply is “stop talking to your computer screen, you look like a crazy.”  Seriously though, yes and no.  A lot of thoughts and emotions ran through my head, ranging from “Why, God, Why me?” to “I should start a blog called ‘My Damn Kids’.” and then straight back to “Seriously, why me?”

Back to the show.

Now don’t get me wrong, children are a blessing, and I love the ones I have, and all that other sappy blah blah.  I do love my kids, and for as much as I don’t like my wife, I still love her more than anything, but a third kid is WAY outside of the scope of things that we’d ever planned for.

We just bought a house with just enough rooms for each of the kids to have a room, and I was able to have a man-cave, but now the man cave is gone.

Our budget was being worked that (if my wife didn’t have a deep rooted spending problem) we would be able to start saving; but now between the added expense of another child, and my damn wife’s spending addiction, we’ll probably be in debt up to our eyeballs.

Both of our cars were paid off, and while small, they could both fit two children, however, neither can fit a third.  So that brings us to my mini-van fueled depression, AND the addition of a car payment, which only piles on to the eyeball high debt we’ll soon be facing.

Oh, and before anyone starts on the whole “You know what causes that, right?” Joke about pregnancy: 1)Seriously, stop talking to your computer 2) She was on the pill, and 3) Since my son’s conception, we have had a 33.3% rate of sex ending up in pregnancy.  I’ll let that sink in for a moment.  For those not good at math, that is a one out of every three times percentage, translating to a whopping grand total of 9 times that we’ve been “intimate” since 2009.  So, as a man, even if someone had come to me in a vision and said “If you have this sex, the Anti-Christ will be conceived, and the apocalypse will be ushered in.”  My response to them would have been “Doesn’t matter, had sex.”